a new life

I want a new life. I want a new life where I get up every morning before 9am and I accomplish things. I want a new life where I don't go online every 8 hours to fullfill the void that is my life. I want to be outside everyday, on a bike or running. Things are out of control at the moment. Every day I seem to be able to do less and less. I use to have an agenda and things got done, but now everyday my ability to set a task for myself and accomplish decreases and decreases. It's been raining for days. Last night I couldn't sleep at all. Up all night, turning over and over on the couch, going online to chat with friends and family, listening to music, I even took a bath after the sun came up but even that didn't feel good. Something is wrong. Just a couple weeks now, and I'll be in a new place with a new agenda. A blank slate.

you keep secret, i keep dream

“Y’know, I grew up in a different generation. I grew up after World War II, and boys did different things in those days. You went camping. You went hunting. You boxed. And the image of a writer, to someone starting off in those days was not some schmuck who went to graduate school. It was Jack London, Nelson Algren, Ernest Hemingway. Especially coming from Chicago–a writer was a knock-around guy. Someone who got a job as a reporter or drove a cab. I think the reason there are a lot of novels about How Mean My Mother Was to Me and all that shit is because the writers may have learned something called ‘technique,’ but they’ve neglected to have a life. What the fuck are they gonna write about?”

–David Mamet