Chronic pain.
Unfortunately most of the reports I'm reading, antibiotics doesn't work for folks with Trigonitis. So I'm left waiting for the doc at Highland to email me or call me with some kind of plan. I imagine it could be a while. In the meantime I am in pain. Sometimes the diet and Ibuprofen keep it under control enough that I can go to work and fake it through the day. Today I'm home editing a video due in a week and the pain is bad.
I can't live like this forever. Feeling like I have no options. I have lost my social life. My athleticism. My ability to travel. My ability to eat and drink like a normal person. My peace of mind hangs on sometimes. I still have my partner, however dysfunctional our relationship. I have Grad School in the Fall - which I'm not sure how I'll make it through. I don't know quite what to do a lot of the time. There's only so many Ibuprofen you can take. Hot baths. Menthol patches. Physical Therapy sessions. It's been 6 months. Sometimes I feel like I've been tortured for 6 months. Like I died and they kept on going. That sounds dramatic.
My job is to be allergic to self-pity. To be conscious of it and smile at it and nod and keep going. I feel utterly helpless, but I keep going, hoping that some wave of hormones or some Kidney evaluation will send me to a new medication that will give me some relief. So I will keep waiting.
Unfortunately most of the reports I'm reading, antibiotics doesn't work for folks with Trigonitis. So I'm left waiting for the doc at Highland to email me or call me with some kind of plan. I imagine it could be a while. In the meantime I am in pain. Sometimes the diet and Ibuprofen keep it under control enough that I can go to work and fake it through the day. Today I'm home editing a video due in a week and the pain is bad.
I can't live like this forever. Feeling like I have no options. I have lost my social life. My athleticism. My ability to travel. My ability to eat and drink like a normal person. My peace of mind hangs on sometimes. I still have my partner, however dysfunctional our relationship. I have Grad School in the Fall - which I'm not sure how I'll make it through. I don't know quite what to do a lot of the time. There's only so many Ibuprofen you can take. Hot baths. Menthol patches. Physical Therapy sessions. It's been 6 months. Sometimes I feel like I've been tortured for 6 months. Like I died and they kept on going. That sounds dramatic.
My job is to be allergic to self-pity. To be conscious of it and smile at it and nod and keep going. I feel utterly helpless, but I keep going, hoping that some wave of hormones or some Kidney evaluation will send me to a new medication that will give me some relief. So I will keep waiting.
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